Of Love & Order Part 4: What Dating With Purpose Means To Me

 

“Your love is as stable as you are: It’s not about how good a person makes you feel, but rather what good you can do for them.” Criss Jami, Killosophy

“God will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn’t finished yet!” Shannon L Alder

Courtship is an activity whereby one looses oneself … whilst trying to win someone’s love.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

What is dating with purpose?
I love the very thought of this. When you have a purpose, an actual purpose for dating. It implies planning before and during the process. Few people plan how their relationships will turn out. Some plan as soon as their relationships begin, which is realistic, others procrastinate with it. Flipplancy and passivity do not play a part in this portion of an individual’s life at all. It is a precious transition, a valuable progression and treasurable advancement. Not everyone has the chance to be with the one they believe is right for them, let alone get into a relationship in the first place. What baffles me therefore, is how lightly esteemed a unique relationship (those who do have this privilege) is regarded when one considers the overall impact it has in his or her life!

Dating with purpose for me embodies three things:
1) having a strong relationship with God
2) possessing a deep understanding of love
3) establishing necessary barriers for protection

NB: It has to happen in exactly this order

There is no setting up boundaries on the foundation of a worldly influence of love, which occurs as a result of not having a firm grasp on what true love is. Where else or best can you get it other than from the Existence, Epitome and Expression of love itself? At other times, despite having a good relationship with God, your view of love can still be thwarted by the world which can mix the conditions you set for your relationship (through partially sticking to the Word or using it to justify your views) or if you are firm and sure, then there can be a possible failure to be faithful in upholding those conditions. Well, I am certain you know what I am getting at and leave you to consider the consequences of having number 2 in check at the expense of the others.
The main reason for those three things to be in place is because it sets the stage for a life lived with these checkpoints being crossed time and again. Take note that while I will be primarily speaking to those who are either beginning or are currently in the courtship stage, the counsel of the following spans across into other arenas, including marriage.

God is the core center by which your relationship exists (Mark 10:9)
If God is love, why would love be sought for in any other place?  Of course, ignorance has a role in this but apart from that, recognizing the Source of love is  paramount in the journey of a couple’s discovery if you will. The very fact you are together is a direct result of His plans coming together, in the same way you did. Being aware of this is the starting point of a fruitful relationship.

Jesus is the foundation in which your relationship is built (1 Corinthians 3:11)
When you have a strong relationship with God as an individual that naturally transitions into the relationship with your special one. There is that threefold cord that cannot be broken (Ecc 4:12). You essentially form the Triangle of Relationships. It was a term coined by Mike Breen the author of Life Shapes, where at the top stands our relationship with God, the left is our relationship with each other as the Body of Christ and on the right is our role in going on outreach to bring others into the kingdom and thus restore them into a relationship with God. It will look like this.

From my stand point, however, the threefold cord is about the individual relationship with God; the understanding of oneself with the establishment of a strong identity; with boldness seek the person that God has for him or her, and finally bringing everything together through the foundation laid upon the Word of God. This way the couple gets to enjoy the fruitfulness of their own relationship as it is directed in faith by God, as long as complete confidence and reliance on Him is maintained.

Jesus is the chief cornerstone by which your relationship is sustained.
No doubt times can and will be tough. We are talking about two completely different people joining together in the prospect of sharing a life with each other. With this comes many different things. You have culture, background, beliefs, perceptions of life, opinions on current affairs, religion, education, politics,  finances, sex, drinking (some belive in drinking but not to the point of being drunk while others are against this notion), and world view. There are other elements as well but these are the main ones. It is very easy to be lovey dovey the one minute and the mortal rivals the next. The key thing is to remain in the Word, prayed up and keeping a positive attitude about each other, especially when you argue. Being sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading through good and bad times is what will sustain you. It may not always be easy but it is always worth it. I cannot stress the value of having a firm relationship with God as individuals  first before building one as a couple, becuase trying times will put your words of devotion to the test.

What different people’s interpretation of dating with purpose is.
This brief list of opinions on this term all connect to what I have pointed out in a unique way.

Sean and Brgitte call it a Christ Centered Relationship
Heather Lindsay notes that it’s about putting God first and being lead by Him
Yore and Mekeyas say it’s about having a solid identity then serving the Lord with your partner.
Mercedes and Nonso believe it’s about having a relationship that has a goal and clear expectations.

Conclusion
When you look at it dating with purpose comes down to rooting yourself in Christ and maintaining that relationship (for yourself first) throughout the rest of your life, no matter what happens. When you are certain that you have reached that stage or are close to it, you then pursue a future with the significant other. It is vital to give both yourself and your partner at chance at love that will last. Fleeting pleasures immediately robs you of that opportunity, especially when you prioritize that. Draw a line and determine how far too far is. At what point are the activities you engage in, particularly physical ones, about to reach worldly standards? Keeping these boundaries in check will ensure a long-lasting relationship equipping you well enough to weather any storm.

Of Love & Order part 2: Love Yourself First

Courtesy of wisbar.org

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matt 12:31

You have to love yourself or you’ll never be able to accept compliments from anyone.
Dean Wareham

If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy. Kirstin Chenoweth

Who Are You?
Everything that happens to us, we make happen for ourselves and/or others and our actions and inactions shape and mould us into who we are. We live in an imperfect world which means we are in a constant refining operation. This is a slightly easier undertaking for those who make an effort to renew their minds as often as possible. Daily taking up your cross as growth towards conforming to the image of Christ occurs is not a walk in the park. If we are going to be real with ourselves and be serious about not cheating ourselves by portraying aspects of ourselves we wish we were-both to others and to ourselves-it will start with a few things.

Conquer the dark side
Every now again I would ponder the existence of a dark side within each of us. People often refer to this as fighting our own demons. For the constantly prayerful Christian this does not apply to them because of the Psalm 91 protection. The struggle to gain and maintain high self-esteem is a battle that can feel like it lasts for an eternity. I am of the impression that building and prolonging high self-esteem comes primarily from being honest with yourself. There can be truly no excuse for certain behaviour and patterns to persist firstly  in the individual’s life at all, but more so for those caught in the vicious trap of ignorance. Erupting in complete anger (much worse in longer durations) towards someone important to you, especially your relationship, has devastating effects. You can attempt to defend yourself, “The circumstances made it appropriate for me to be angry. They messed up,” supposing it is so, is it not true that  preserving a relationship is more important than being right? Overcoming our dark sides (the things we hate about ourselves) will be a tough but necessary process. Why am I leaning towards this direction? Here is the bottom line:

NB: If you are going to give yourself to someone, give them someone you love

There is nothing more selfish in the whole world than you not loving yourself. Take time to think about that. It is completely unfair to everyone you come into contact with and everyone already in your life. You do not have to be fully whole and complete when you either meet your life partner or continue the relationship with them, but you must do your level best not to be completely broken as well. Be honest. Joyce Meyer mentions the value of having a meeting with yourself. Work diligently to improve on those things you dislike or hate about yourself. Are you short-tempered? Being patient, listening, understanding and empathetic, slowly but surely, is a place you will eventually reach.

Love Yourself
Giving a part of yourself to anyone requires a certain measure of love for them. You will not give your time to someone you do not like or respect. Give yourself first what you will give someone else. You say you love them? Good, love yourself immensely. You say you respect them?  Have lots of respect for yourself. Their importance to you stems from you having deep self-worth. The measure of love you give to someone will be the same measure you have for yourself. Why is this the case? Simple. You can’t give what you don’t have. In the process of loving yourself, particularly if you are finding yourself, ask these questions:

What do you see yourself as?
Does that change every now and again?
Are you a different person in public than you are at home?
Do you have very good standards in general?
Are you honest about who you say you are?

Qualify Your Expectations
A great woman of God, Ashley Brown has been doing a series on her YouTube channel Ashley Empowers called “Dating With Purpose,” where she interviews different couples who have gone through the process the right way. I highly recommend you see as much as possible. This couple Rachel & Roger have a lovely story and share wonderful lessons they have learned in their journey. The one I will be focusing on here is the significance of being who you are looking for. It is crucial to be real about your relationship and expectations for it. If you desire someone who is fit then you will need a good reason for that. It does not make sense to expect something in and of someone that is not already in you.

A message from the King of love
Taking note of the creator of love is paramount. Joyce Meyer says, “Love yourself, but don’t fall in love with yourself.” Hit those affirmations and declarations over yourself. Personalize Scripture. Romans 8:31 which says  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? You can read it as  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for me, who can be against me? It is vital to remember that. Chapter 10:17 talks about faith coming by hearing the word of God so be sure to hear the word you speak over yourself. A good way to bear in mind the avoiding of falling in love with yourself (where pride and conceit thrive), is to be guided by these:

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil 2:3-4

 

 

Of Love & Order part 1: What Happened To Love?

Courtesy of completewellbeing.com

“When it’s gone, you’ll know what a gift love was. You’ll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.” Ian McEwan Enduring Love

“I used to think that I could never lose anyone if I photographed them enough. In fact, my pictures show me how much I’ve lost.” Nan Goldin

Starting from the beginning
Things in my life are moving in a way that only God can orchestrate. From not knowing my purpose and passion, to having TV/Film skills. From only possessing video production skills to having design traits too.. From enjoying an ordinary relationship with God to an extraordinary one. From being single to being in a relationship!
Of course when I put it like this it sounds like everything is going smoothly, all according to plan. That is far from the case. I have had to learn patience, deep trust in God, and persistence especially through and in prayer in the process. The fact that I am even writing this right now is a testament to His goodness! With gloves off, hands rubbed, we are ready to get into highly likely the most exciting journey yet.

What it is about
What is love? No I am not talking about Haddaway’s song! I am sincerely bringing to mind the reality of the most impactful force ever to hit humankind. There seems to be a widespread knowledge or more accurately information, on the subject with it affecting each of us in a completely different way. If you ask one person what they believe love to be, you will get a completely different answer to what the next person will say. The question that eats me every time is if two people (man and woman) were always meant to be, how is it that there are cases where break up happens after 4 or more years? It truly is baffling to me. As I brushed up on my dating knowledge through so many various means including books, TV (talk) shows/series, movies, internet articles, music, conversations/discussions, seminars/conferences and CD’s,  I began to see a pattern between the thriving relationships and the ones that appear to be doomed for failure before they even start. No I am not claiming to be some expert or anything, there is still much for me to learn in spite of all I have already learned, I am merely putting forward my observations in the hopes that someone will have a good or better understanding of love. The point is to let the reader combine their knowledge, insight, wisdom and understanding with what they glean from here.
In case you are wondering Why “Of Love And Order?” It is simply based on this profound principle: Worthwhile relationships take work. Before diving into what I believe that entails, we will observe what I am of the opinion is the world’s standard for love.

Types of relationships
The info about to be displayed is an excerpt taken from a book by the world-renowned dating coach Nick Savoy, founder and CEO of Love Systems. In his journey to find love (married now), he came to discover 6 different kinds of relationships:

• Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.
• Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.
• Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.
• Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.
• Dating/Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.
• Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

You would be surprised to note that there is in fact a TV series called Friends With Benefits! Jaw-dropping I know. One can be rest assured that most people’s view of love would have been influenced by one or more of the above. What this therefore implies is that the relationship gets shaky right from the get go because it is established on an unstable foundation.

Aiming for the target
What this series hopes to zero in on is “popularizing” the notion of fighting for your relationship, first of all by learning more about why such a pure and precious thing has been tarnished not only by the world but by and with Christians as well, and coming back to what matters most, the only One qualified to define and execute exactly what love is. We have found that much of the reason for relationships going bad is because there is not much preparation made before entering into it and there are few, if any, boundaries put in place as well. This served as the introduction to the series, which could  have the subheading What happened to love? if you will. Links to stories that are moving, depressing and eye-opening, as well as stories from my own life will be covered in subsequent posts. The most important thing to realize is that outside God, there is little to none satisfaction and fulfillment in this life. No need to take my word for it, just ask Solomon (Book of Ecclesiastes)! Even he, in the fulness of the wisdom pouring forth from the wisest man who ever lived had this to say:

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.

Better late than never

The idea is to die young as late as possible- Ashley Montagu

Punctuality is not just limited to arriving at a place at right time, it is also about taking actions at right time.”
― Amit Kalantri

Refreshing Start
This has been a huge theme in my life. I almost invariably start late but at least make the most of every experience when I am in it. If I begin a race late, I stick to the plan and not try to overdo anything to make up for lost time because I will definitely do more harm than good. I remember beginning in last place in a cross-country race completely unaware that the competitors that were lined up were my age group! After being informed that I was supposed to be on, a few seconds after the race commenced, I took off as casually as I normally would. Out of 50 competitors that day I came in 25, had I started with everyone I may have done better, but at least I was in a decent position and not last!

The biggest challenge I faced and to some degree (but much less now) still have  was discovering my purpose. One’s destiny is a combination of their greatest passion and their life purpose. My only problem? I had neither! My lack of passion or more accurately my change of different things I led myself to believe I was passionate about kept rotating over and over again. This obviously stemmed from not knowing what my purpose is. While I know that a lot pf people struggle in this area and reach their light bulb moment later in life, one thing is for sure, it beats living every second of everyday not knowing what it is. I am actually half way there. If I am certain my existence serves to flourish in its fullest in all realms of construction, building, fashioning, forming, making, moulding and shaping. All I have to do now is direct this skill and component to an area of life that is suitable for it. Creating stories in motion picture is just the beginning.

Progressing  In High Gear
I have received tons of concerns about why I have not update my blog the past year. To be honest, there is not a day that has passed without me wishing so desperately I could type words on the keyboard and hit publish! It has eaten me up so much. I kept going back and forth up and down wrestling in my head all kinds of ways to approach my Internet predicament. Using a public network is not an option for me. One may say, “you can just save each draft you create until it’s done,” except that  is not how I roll. I hate saving and updating, I assume that once I have finished typing the article is published. The other thing is I need plenty of time to put my posts together which essentially becomes the biggest hurdle. I did, however, have posts in mind that I am more than excited to put up.

I am becoming more and more multi-skilled mostly due to circumstances causing this change. They have consumed a lot of my time but I am enjoying every second of it. From only being able to do video production and film to photography and design.  Creativity is the order of the day and that is what makes every day worth it. The process of growing from strength to strength, faith to faith and glory to glory, requires doing what you have never done before and coming up with new ways of doing things you’re used to. Use Google Maps to find at least 3 alternative paths that leave work and do the same for leaving home, see how that feels. Try your hand at new recipes, it may all be uncomfortable at first but the rewards are always worth it.

In almost every part of my life I’m progressing well which allows me to have a better understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life, the rich and satisfying life that Jesus has given us (John 10:10). Deciding to live it, working around challenges and focusing on solutions, cherishing all relationships and reconciling lost ones is what counts at the end of the day, no matter what happens in between.

Remaining In Full Focus
Utilising strategic thinking where planning in full detail what the entire month looks like and breaking that up into weekly and daily routines, is an admirable skill that is to be honed immensely. If I am to move from my comfort zone and get into the end zone it will be done through forming this habit to the best of my abilities and engaging in focused thinking, where 80% of my efforts and energy will be invested in my top 20% of activities. Listing those and disciplining myself to implement as much as possible each day will greatly factor into living a wholesome life, something I am so excited to undergo.

 

 

 

Manic Monday

Psalm 118:24
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Lamentations 3:22-23
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great isYour faithfulness.

Freshening Things Up
I will be honest with you, right off the bat I will come out and say it, I am certain I may never understand why most people do not like Monday. It is such a beautiful day of the week. Here are a few reasons why I like Monday:

1) It is the first day of a work week. That is why I prefer the notion of Thank God It’s Monday over any other day.
2) It comes after the weekend, so the adventure of an enjoyable weekend crosses over into work.
3) You have something to look forward to as the weekend progresses, leaving you excited throughout the week and weekend!
4) You wait fewer days for Monday than you do Friday
5) It introduces a new week and thus a fresh start to everything.
6) With a positive mindset, you are never feeling blue.
7) There are quite a number of customs that can be created:
a) Makeover Monday
b) Motivation Monday
c) Magic Moment Monday
d) Music Making Monday
e) Movie Review Monday
Alright I admit, I made up some of those, but they can be great ideas to help maintain certain routines. I am more than well aware that the pessimists out there are thinking along the lines of Moody Monday, but if you had a bad day you can still choose how you want your week to go. The events may disappoint you if they do not seem exciting, however, you can decide to tackle them with a positive attitude and see what the outcome turns out ti be like.

The Bangles’ View
I have recently started this tradition of listening to the song Manic Monday by The Bangles just to serve as a fresh reminder of a brand new week. The funny thing is that it more-or-less focuses on the negative aspects of Monday, not completely, but to some degree. The one line I have a particular fascination for is (referring to Sunday) My I don’t have to run day. As many of you who have been following along with my posts know, I really enjoy running and while Friday and Saturday are also days I rest and recover, I ensure that the entire weekend is reserved for fun activities. I love how they make it sound as though the entertainment is ruined by the presence of the day. Suddenly they are not sure what to think or do now that they know it is Monday. Regardless of this, despite their dislike for the day, they manage to maintain some kind of affirmative outlook, something we should all aspire to achieve.

The Cross-Over
The thing I find interesting is how people have their minds all over the place as soon as they hear or realize it is Monday. No doubt some would argue that the weekend is too short, while others are of the belief and in favour of the opposite. I think that due to the fact that the weekend is short-whether they know it or not-most people overdo it. It could be the big adventure of heading into the vast landscapes, camping, hiking and enjoying the nature; the intense and fast-paced city life with bright lights and party vibes all over the place, or time at home filled with the mental strain that comes from figuring out a way to make the weekend bearable. All these have their advantages when considering how the week went. It is not advisable for a workaholic to party hard over the weekend but rather gain as much rest as possible to establish balance in the life they lead. In the same way those doing little work or effortlessly complete their projects should consider some measure of amplified amusement, especially if they are introverts, at least that is my take on it.

One thing is for sure, no one supports the idea of work kicking off after the weekend, but what if everyone chose to make the most of their Monday? How amazing would it be if they ended the weekend fully mentally prepared for Monday? I especially want to challenge those who bury themselves deep into the world they create with their words: The Monday Blues. Your attitude at the beginning of a task determines its outcome more than anything else, and if this is true for general tasks, what about the effect it has on days of the week? I believe that is something noteworthy to think about. It may be just ,me but I am confident that in spite of everything the day may bring forth, the result depends and hinges on what we speak into the day as soon as we get up. I encourage you, experiment with it. Declare everyday an excellent day, even if the activities and events are dull and boring, test the limits of your creativity. In the end, you decide how you feel about how your day goes, might as well make it awesome.

In The Sumertime

Courtesy of encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

All The Good Stuff
Summer is such a wonderful season. You get the beauty of the radiant light. The warmth of the sun on your skin. The smile on most people’s faces every sunrise, whether they feel like going to work or not. The thrill of lunch time in an open area or outside at a restaurant, basking in the sun as you enjoy your meal. All this of course assuming that the weather is not scaling hot! No one would dispute the glorious pleasure of the water, wherever it comes from. If you are swimming, either in a pool or at the beach (maybe you fancy sunbathing instead); enjoying the waves as you ride them with your board or at a theme/water-park speeding down the water-slides, you are having the time of your life. The real adventurous guys would go water skiing or white water rafting. Some may simply take pleasure in a brief stay at a boat-house and go canoeing and fishing. Numerous other activities I could mention, mountain climbing, hand-gliding, bungee jumping, abseiling, running (my personal favourite), cycling, horse-riding, quad bike racing and so on, but for now that is where I will stop.

The Glory Of Winter
Right now here in Zimbabwe it is Winter. Personally, though, I would not consider it so because it is not cold enough. Secondly there is no snow. My time in Denmark did open my eyes to the wonder of snow. I heart it so much. From wondering what Winter is like without snow to wondering how Winter could exist without it! The downside with Summer is when it gets too hot, you cannot cool yourself down if you do not have, or position yourself in environments, with an air-conditioner or fan. I enjoy the cold of Winter because the air is fresh. I fail to relay to you the number of times I have defended the cause of Winter. Yes the air is cold but it is also fresh. You can at least put on the three, four layers of clothes, in addition to gloves (the absurdity of people doing that here) and scarfs, to keep you nice and warm, add a fireplace, radiator or heater and you are well on your way!

All I will simply be doing this summer is improving then maintaining my running skills. My key goal is increasing my longest distance. Right now it is 21km (13.1 miles) which I do intend on extending at least by 5km (3.1 miles). When I do that I will be thrilled. I might think of moving on to a marathon but I will cross that bridge when I get there. For me, working out (the gym, home or anywhere) and the beach are the best things Summer has to offer. 

 

Game Of Thrones: Continue Or Game Over?

Courtesy of media.zenfs.com

Psalm 119:37
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Matthew 6:22
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light,

Matthew 5:29
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.- Nikos Kazantzakis

Men trust their ears less than their eyes.- Herodotus

Being Held Back When Moving Forward
At least that is how I feel when I see Game Of Thrones. Just like anyone else, I get hooked by the story, get a good feel of how it all works and, to some degree, get involved in it too. All goes well until one drawback occurs: The Sex Scenes. There is nothing wrong with implied scenes and ones that look like something is about to happen but does not because a cut to the next scene in the story happens instead.
I remember seeing The Pilot when it came out in 2011. At the time for some reason, it was not appealing to me, There must have been some other series that I was more fascinated with and followed. During that time until now I had seen numerous other series while being constantly bombarded with the question: have you seen Game Of Thrones? I took no regard to it and thus for each of the seasons that came out I was not phased at all. It was only in the fifth season that I chose to find out what the hype was all about, especially when it escalated over a few leaked episodes. The irony in that was me discovering the episodes before everyone else did, yet I was not following the series. 

The Adventure
I dove in and needless to say I was impressed with the way the story evolved and the clever play with the events that took place with each of the characters. What did disturb me was the number of times I saw sex scenes. Some are pure nudity only but others are just flat out porn. This took me back to the days I used to see Spartacus. For those who do not know, that is a series 50 times worse than Game Of Thrones. That one is 7/8 porn and 1/8 series. Nothing worse than finding that out the hard way. I am not sure why there are a few series that have very graphic sexual activity in them. If I wanted to see any form of sexual activity I would go watch porn.
For Game Of Thrones I saw 2 seasons. As for as story goes, they were amazing seasons. The challenge comes with thinking about the characters because some of them a partially known for their performance in bed, that becomes difficult to think about them without including that in the equation. I was shocked to discover that the series generally had at least 3 sex scenes in every episode and each episode lasts 55mins. The evil in the scenes is displayed in the dialogue that comes with them. For the sake of not losing any part of the story you would feel forced to see the whole scene. Fortunately I am skilled in catching up on missed scenes and some times episodes.

Those defending these may be of the belief that they last a short time and are therefore no big deal. That’s where the problem comes in. You compromise your beliefs long enough to justify what you see so that you can enjoy the series/movie. This begins on a small scale. The more you see it, the more you compromise, the more vulnerable you are. Next thing you know, you are completely defending it as if advocating for it! Furthermore you would be so caught in the trap that the short scenes become longer (as I discovered as season 2 was progressing), you miss that and before you realize it, you are very comfortable with an all-out porn scene!

Skip To The Point
Someone may ask, “Why not just skip those scenes and move on?” The reason is because it takes so much effort. You get sucked in the story, you pick some characters you like, you root for them, you have a preconceived idea of how the story will unfold as the events take place before you, you are overjoyed where you are correct and pleasantly surprised where you are corrected, only to have all that  broken by the fact that you also have to remember to fast-forward the scenes. That is a lot of effort! You should not have to skip anything in any movie or series in the first place.
I heard that the book has some measure of sex in it but slightly gets overdone so that the value in the novelty of the book is diminished. I also found out the HBO enjoys inserting unnecessary sex scenes in nearly all their shows in an attempt to expose a particular part of a character’s personality. I think it is just to boost ratings because sex sells. That is the sad reality.

Are You In Or Are You Out?
I am honestly torn between seeing season 3 and not seeing it. Do I endure when I know it will get so much worse, or do I guard my heart and protect my soul since the eyes are the window to the soul? I know how the game is played and I can follow it quite easily. If anyone has no problem with Inception (especially the end) and The Saw Saga, Game Of Thrones becomes a piece of cake! I do not want my life affected negatively and my subconscious changing a part of who I am because of unknown implications entering it through every drop of a sex scene placed in front of my eyes. I have no idea what message could be delivered. I do not want to be a part of whatever that may be. Prevention is better than cure after all. With all that said, it is the end of the road for me. The game was sensational while it lasted. I can peacefully state that I have no idea how the rest of the story unfolds and that is alright. Every time someone asks me, “Have you seen Game Of Thrones,” my response will simply be, “I have and while I don’t want to know, I am comfortable with forever wondering what happens since Winter is coming.”
It is officially Game Over.