Of Love & Order part 1: What Happened To Love?


Courtesy of completewellbeing.com

“When it’s gone, you’ll know what a gift love was. You’ll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.” Ian McEwan Enduring Love

“I used to think that I could never lose anyone if I photographed them enough. In fact, my pictures show me how much I’ve lost.” Nan Goldin

Starting from the beginning
Things in my life are moving in a way that only God can orchestrate. From not knowing my purpose and passion, to having TV/Film skills. From only possessing video production skills to having design traits too.. From enjoying an ordinary relationship with God to an extraordinary one. From being single to being in a relationship!
Of course when I put it like this it sounds like everything is going smoothly, all according to plan. That is far from the case. I have had to learn patience, deep trust in God, and persistence especially through and in prayer in the process. The fact that I am even writing this right now is a testament to His goodness! With gloves off, hands rubbed, we are ready to get into highly likely the most exciting journey yet.

What it is about
What is love? No I am not talking about Haddaway’s song! I am sincerely bringing to mind the reality of the most impactful force ever to hit humankind. There seems to be a widespread knowledge or more accurately information, on the subject with it affecting each of us in a completely different way. If you ask one person what they believe love to be, you will get a completely different answer to what the next person will say. The question that eats me every time is if two people (man and woman) were always meant to be, how is it that there are cases where break up happens after 4 or more years? It truly is baffling to me. As I brushed up on my dating knowledge through so many various means including books, TV (talk) shows/series, movies, internet articles, music, conversations/discussions, seminars/conferences and CD’s,  I began to see a pattern between the thriving relationships and the ones that appear to be doomed for failure before they even start. No I am not claiming to be some expert or anything, there is still much for me to learn in spite of all I have already learned, I am merely putting forward my observations in the hopes that someone will have a good or better understanding of love. The point is to let the reader combine their knowledge, insight, wisdom and understanding with what they glean from here.
In case you are wondering Why “Of Love And Order?” It is simply based on this profound principle: Worthwhile relationships take work. Before diving into what I believe that entails, we will observe what I am of the opinion is the world’s standard for love.

Types of relationships
The info about to be displayed is an excerpt taken from a book by the world-renowned dating coach Nick Savoy, founder and CEO of Love Systems. In his journey to find love (married now), he came to discover 6 different kinds of relationships:

  • Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.
  • Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.
  • Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.
  • Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.
  • Dating/Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.
  • Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

You would be surprised to note that there is in fact a TV series called Friends With Benefits! Jaw-dropping I know. One can be rest assured that most people’s view of love would have been influenced by one or more of the above. What this therefore implies is that the relationship gets shaky right from the get go because it is established on an unstable foundation.

Aiming for the target
What this series hopes to zero in on is “popularizing” the notion of fighting for your relationship, first of all by learning more about why such a pure and precious thing has been tarnished not only by the world but by and with Christians as well, and coming back to what matters most, the only One qualified to define and execute exactly what love is. We have found that much of the reason for relationships going bad is because there is not much preparation made before entering into it and there are few, if any, boundaries put in place as well. This served as the introduction to the series, which could  have the subheading What happened to love? if you will. Links to stories that are moving, depressing and eye-opening, as well as stories from my own life will be covered in subsequent posts. The most important thing to realize is that outside God, there is little to none satisfaction and fulfillment in this life. No need to take my word for it, just ask Solomon (Book of Ecclesiastes)! Even he, in the fulness of the wisdom pouring forth from the wisest man who ever lived had this to say:

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.


Move Toward Order

Order increases productivity. Your productivity increases your contribution. Your contribution increases the rewards you receive in life. Order Is Doing The Right Thing…In The Right Place…At The Right Time.

Genesis 1:31 

And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.

9 Reasons to move toward order

1) You will feel good. Never neglect the feeling that accompanies a completed task.

2) You will be more optimistic. It will be easy for you to see things from a brighter perspective because it’ll be a natural part of you.

3) You will inspire others to be like you. The feeling you get when someone tells you how right you were about what you advised and encouraged them to do.

4) You can’t help helping others. It’s good when your life is in order. It’s even better when lots of other lives are too!

5) You create favor. Things will simply be much better for you because you created such opportunities and made the most of them.

6) You quickly become part of someone’s circle of friends. More often than not, you won’t even realize it!

7) You expand your sphere of influence. It’s easier for you to impact others and become a figure well respected.

8) Life simply gets better. Only because everything seems to fall into place more often than not. You’re good with backup plans and achieve more than you expected. You also reward yourself (and others) for individual and collective achievements.

9) Don’t think, just do it! Just get a file (or set of files), label it/them and place every important document inside. Reorder your book shelves, your living room, home and office desk, your wardrobe and everything else that’s very significant. Your reward? Point number 1.

If the top list does not motivate and inspire you to start being organized-no matter how hard it may be-absolutely nothing will!

Wisdom key #127: Order Is God’s Only Obsession

Now in case you haven’t read it, here is my post on what this year is all about: 2012-The Year of Complete Governance and Peace It opens in a new tab/window so you can still keep track of what you read here. I would encourage you to read that post any time soon to give you a good perspective on how to conduct your life. As we continue in the last half of the year, we want to make it the best one. I personally believe that out of all the posts I have put together this year, this current one and the one I highlighted are the most Valuable and Vital ones because they express God’s heart since He is a God of order (Genesis 1; Exodus 39-40; 1 Corinthians 12:12Proverbs 8:22-31; Psalm 104:24-25). There are numerous others like Jethro counseling Moses (Exodus 18:17-23), and also the way Solomon built the temple (1 Kings 6:1-14; 2 Chronicles 3)

Now watch this and think about everything you hear. I will put some notes about the video in case you cannot see it:

God is a God of Order

Take time to think about that. We hear or read something like that so many times that we (may possibly, indirectly) pass it off as a cliché. Those words don’t resonate within our hearts. We don’t grasp the revelation behind God as a Man of Order. Think about Revelations 5:11 and read Chapter 4. What about Ezekiel 1 where the prophet describes what he sees? The other term for it is Cherubic Chariot so whenever you read or hear the term cherubim (in the whole Bible) think about a chariot because that’s (exactly) what it is!

Dr Mike Murdock mentioned a few things in the video:

Government is about order
Law is about order

The 5 rewards of order:

1) Safety- traffic lights
2) Beauty- when there is symmetry (uniformity, equality, consistency) there is beauty
3) Protection
4) Prosperity- both in wealth and well being (Deut 8:18; Ecc 11: 1Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:2-3; 3 John 1:2)
5) Joy

NB: Let every investment of every day be a step closer towards order. Order is God’s only obsession. Let it be our only obsession too!

Order and simplification are the first steps toward the mastery of a subject.”- Thomas Mann

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.”- Flaubert

Order is Heaven’s first law” – Alexander pope

1 Corinthians 14:40

But all things should be done with regard to decency and propriety and in an orderly fashion.