What does it mean to find yourself?

Courtesy of personal development.me

 
 
Moment of Reflection

To be truthfully honest I have never really understood that term. For a long time I have pretended to know what it means but giving it a second thought made me realize that I had no understanding after all. This began to raise some questions in me:

 


1) What does it mean to find yourself?

2) Finding yourself implies losing yourself, so how would that have happened?
3) Is it not possible that you were cool, calm and collected (for a given period in time) at some point in your life?

 


The other thing that puzzles me is how this has become such a big deal. Not that I am belittling it, the main concern is why a lot of people (if not most) are so caught up in  “a search for who they are” only to come up empty-handed time and again.

 


Thinking about the phrase, “find yourself” there seems to be a core similarity, or at least connection with that and “discovering your purpose.” Are the two not one and the same? From what I can tell they seem to be quite vast in their difference. Your purpose has to do with:

a) Your reason for existing

b) Separating you from existing to living

c) Answering the “fulfilment” (why) question

d) What your dream is

Finding yourself has to do with

a) Answering the “inner conflict” (who) question

b) Establishing an identity

c) What makes one different and unique

d) Making a name for oneself

Solving the matter

As I said before finding yourself implies losing yourself. The question, therefore, is when, where and how would you have lost yourself? The only thing that comes to mind is belief.

What do you believe?

Some suggestions I have for finding yourself are:

i) Write down all your core beliefs

ii) Ask yourself why you believe those things

ii) Ask yourself how you came to believe those things

iv) Write down as many possibilities as you can e.g. friends, teachers, coworkers, parents, siblings, TV shows & movies (be specific), strangers, acquaintances, extended family members (be specific).

I have learned that you portray who you are by what you do so that means the key ingredient to helping one come back together may be found in their gifts and talents. In addition to that the crucial and vital need to stay in focus.

Don’t lose focus

That’s something I very often told my little brothers and my friends whenever they competed against me either in video games or social activities and had a hard time defeating me. This instruction holds true for the one who is soul-searching. I believe the reason for a loss for a deeper meaning (which is what I consider the definition to be) is found in a lack of focus. There is no focus on the dream. No focus on the goal. If there is some focus, there clearly isn’t enough.

Steering clear from all kinds of distractions (which may be the temptation to alter one’s belief; spending too much time with the wrong people; being lectured far too many times and given numerous philosophies in the process, leading to confusion; placing their identity in a person, people or thing, an unnecessary vulnerability because of the pain that accompanies the loss), staying focused becomes easier.

I have come to realize now that with all the above taken into consideration, there is not that much of a difference between purpose and identity. If you know what you were born for that makes it easy to understand more of who you are. On the other hand if you know who you are (beyond heritage and more into self-worth and confidence) but are not sure what your reason for existing is (until you do you won’t be living), you are still open to exploring various possibilities and with, at the very least, a positive attitude, you are able to come close to finding the answer.

What suggestions do you have for finding yourself?

What do you think about the link between purpose and identity?